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I would like to think, that over the course of my journey with this blog, I have grown. I can confirm this by looking back over my past entries and not just review how I wrote from a skill level but also objectively view how I was choosing to describe my problems and how to handle them. This is a very intriguing concept to consider for a moment that I might be able to observe myself from the outside in a more objective way and also being able to have the advantages of subjectivity, though separated by the expanse of time, this is still something I feel the duality of as the person I was is still echoing throughout me though many parts are gone now.
When describing removing ill-serving behaviors in one's life, Jordan Peterson describes this as burning away the deadwood. This metaphor serves well to remind us that thought the entire forest may be razed and unrecognizable for some time even as a once wooded area... the very earth and sky that provided the conditions for growth are still there after the fire and if anything ripe with opportunity for new things to grow that never would have survived before. I feel this is a good way of describing things over the course of my journey with this blog. There are parts of the ways I've been that have been burned to ash and are no longer present to be seen at all. However there is a vibrant array of potential available to me that was unseen before from the towering and long standing trees lording over the earth that gave them their life and permanence.
So, my therapy and digging up stuff combined with my facerolling emotionally through relationships learning by losing bits of my innocence but gaining wisdom...these two things combine to form the force that has continued to reset the growth cycle in the land of my thoughts. I'm confident there are other ways to start fires more controlled than this, but alas it has been my methodology so far and it has still accomplished the amazing result of freeing up much more of my resources. Therapy has been the controlling element to these mental fires I've set.
In this way this blog has been a proving ground for thoughts I choose to immortalize in text and this feels like it extends in my mind. I do not write anything I do not KNOW to be true, in this way I end up clarifying my thoughts that I most want to exemplify and that truly are in my character at all times while I continue to grow. This comes from something yet again I learned through listening to jordan peterson. What we write is somehow even more concrete than what we speak, or at least to the best of my estimation at least equally important. Your voice will only reach who is present, but your words can reach the world.
Until next time, breathe deeply, sleep sweetly and dream big! I did and look at me now!
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