We all know that honesty is important for our relationships. It's fundamentally related to the essential trust that enables us to rely on one another. I feel that there are degrees of honesty in terms of its completeness. For me, honesty means always telling the truth, of course. But I also like to practice what I call "third-degree honesty." Basically, that means I'll always try to fully disclose things that might be relevant, even if they don't ask directly.
Think of it like this: honesty is answering questions truthfully, full disclosure is offering more details when you think it matters, and transparency is creating a space where information flows freely and you can easily understand what's going on.
I have experienced many moments in life where I would have preferred to receive this treatment, and using the rule of treating others as I wish to be treated, I offer this. I don't want anyone to be the painful recipient of all of the information asked for not being shared, or relevant information not being shared.
Recently, when I've been asked about my past relationships, instead of deciding to answer in the usual way of downplaying the love I felt then and focusing only on the pain in the end, I took the time to be sincere and explain the positive aspects of my relationship that I had in the past. For example, I might mention how the relationship helped me learn something important about myself or the kind of partner I desire. This additional honesty, beyond just answering the question directly, led to a more positive and insightful conversation. The person I was talking to wasn't jealous or bored, but rather felt warm and accepted, and even asked questions about my experience.
Friedrich Nietzsche once said that you could tell a lot about a man by the amount of truth he could stomach. It's curious to note that there's a hint that people don't want to know everything. That they are comfortable with some ignorance. Regrettably, I can't exemplify that myself. I prefer to not leave those I love in the dark and if there are painful truths I must share, then I will bare my cross and shoulder the burden of accountability.
Honesty and truthfulness aren't simply good ideas to apply to your character... But they are irreplaceable in intimacy. After all we often consider sharing what we have with somebody based on the idea of assuming that they are going to be trustworthy enough to both appreciate and share back if we were to need it.
Honesty and truthfulness are the cornerstones of intimacy. They allow us to build trust and connect on a deeper level. While some may shy away from unpleasant truths, I believe open communication, even when it carries the risk of pain, strengthens relationships in the long run. When you start being radically honest and you then experience acceptance from someone, it is a different experience altogether. It feels beyond amazing to be your truest self and feel accepted. This joy is stolen when we aren't honest.
Consider incorporating "third-degree honesty" into your own relationships. By offering relevant details, even if not directly asked, you can create a richer and more meaningful connection with those you care about.
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