The Inner Critic: Friend or Foe? - 229

Have you ever stood on the edge of an opportunity, paralyzed by a voice inside your head whispering doubt? That voice, the one telling you 'you can't do this,' is negative self-talk, and it's something we've all experienced. Moments where we have negative thoughts telling us stories about ourselves that aren't really true. I can't help but remind myself that I've experienced a lot of these moments and in a very wonderful way they have become more rare as of late. For example, I often will speak to myself in a way where do not fully respect what I know my abilities to be. Essentially I will tell myself I won't be able to succeed in doing this, and if I'm Fair it's something that I'm not being honest and truthful with myself when I say I will not be able to succeed in doing this. The real truth of what's going on is that I'm scared of failing and I'm trying to find safe ways to not fail , and unfortunately one of the ways that we end up feeling safe from failing is by not trying in the first place or justifying not leaving forward on an issue. 

Imagine your brain is like a busy inbox. It receives all kinds of messages, both positive and negative. Sometimes, the negative messages get flagged as important, even if they're not entirely true

Now that the dismal part is out of the way, we can discuss options of being able to manage and regulate this particular type of issue that we have with a negative self talk.  The good news is you are not doomed to having a bad perspective of yourself just because you currently have a bad habit of saying mean things to yourself. 

Pause for a moment and reflect. What does your inner critic sound like? Does your inner critic perhaps speak up loudly whenever you try new things? How does that critic speak to you? 

"I'm just going to fail anyhow" 

"I'm not enough"

"I never get anything right"

Pause a moment longer and reflect what situations this critic speaks up in. Making mistakes or social situations are common triggers for people. Three steps can help quiet the grumpy internal critic. 

Challenge your inner critic. When your inner critic pipes up, don't just accept its words as truth. Take a moment to challenge them. Are these thoughts based on facts or just fear? Would you say these things to a close friend?

Positive affirmations can counteract negative self-talk. Tailor affirmations to the situation. For instance, if you're feeling anxious about a presentation, you could say: "I am capable and prepared." Repeat these affirmations with conviction, even if it feels strange at first. Over time, they can help reprogram your inner voice.

You didn't become this way overnight, so offer yourself grace on your growth. This journey of self-compassion takes time and practice. But remember, with every challenge you confront and every negative thought you overcome, you're building resilience and rewriting your inner narrative. So next time your inner critic starts whispering doubts, challenge those thoughts, silence the negativity with affirmations, and take a courageous step forward. You've got this!