I aimed for daily writing, but after a stressful few days, I allowed myself a couple of days off to recharge. Recently, I spoke with a young woman about her life struggles. Facing a recent break-up, a common theme as young adults navigate self-discovery, she seemed more confused by the other person's actions than her own feelings.
During our conversation, I suggested journaling – describing her feelings on paper or digitally. Articulating her thoughts this way, I explained, would require more specificity than simply saying things were overwhelming or bad. It would allow someone else to truly understand her. While unsure if she'd be receptive, she surprised me.
The next morning, she shared that she'd written half of what she intended the night before, but felt that captured her emotions well. She even admitted feeling a bit better mentally that day. But the real surprise came the next night – she wrote again! I was genuinely impressed by her commitment. She hadn't just heard the benefits of journaling, she'd trusted the process and dived right in. It was already shifting her perspective on her own experiences and feelings.
This encounter reminds me of the countless things I've learned from therapy. Sometimes, I forget how much they've become ingrained in my thoughts and behaviors. It's like dropping a pebble in a still pond and watching the ripples. In this case, the ripples touched the young woman I described. But who knows where else they'll reflect? Perhaps she'll share her experiences with friends, creating even more ripples. This echo of shared knowledge and created space is the heartbeat of humanity, the force that propelled us from wooden wheels to spaceships.
I find this mutual influence fascinating. It's how our character traits are called forth to shine. In these judgment-free spaces, both parties have the chance to explore ideas and thoughts. There's genuine attention and respect for each other's perspectives. While I haven't found the perfect word to describe this type of conversation, I know you've experienced these magical moments too – moments where someone truly listens and isn’t just waiting for their turn to speak. Often times people are doing exactly this, formulating what it is they want to say while you are saying what you want to say. This is not really communication as talking to yourselves in front of each other. It isn’t as useful as when the individuals present genuinely pay attention to and understand each other.
One approach suggests that true listening involves summarizing the other person's points back to them for confirmation, ensuring understanding before proceeding. This prevents straw manning and poor communication as there is a shared agreement to verify understanding before proceeding. By truly listening and fostering genuine understanding, we can create ripples of connection that can reach far beyond our initial conversation.
No comments:
Post a Comment