I find myself getting a bit behind on sleep lately. So today, let’s discuss what I know and think might be helpful to share about sleep.
We all need it. This isn’t just humans, but animals all over the world, though the amount does differ. We spend on average about one third of our lives asleep. Isn’t it a kind of strange thing that as a species we lay mostly motionless and to the outside world as completely offline for hours!. Our perceptions are dampened during this process. We cannot defend ourselves and we are vulnerable to attack or any number of imaginable things.We bargain with it with ourselves, and undermine the value at times.
I am choosing to share a past entry exerpt. From entry #63
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I have learned that humans heal their bodies for the first part of the night. Biological processes, and digestion, that is all done in the first 3-4 hours. When we switch to deeper rem you may have heard that we ‘paralyze’ our bodies, that is when we fall asleep our brain stem (especially the pons and medulla) sends signals to relax muscles essential for body posture and limb movements. This is so that we do not act our dreams out. Atonia (muscle paralysis)
Now knowing that the first part of the night is just body healing...What do you think all that fitful dreaming that sometimes you wake up from with your heart pumping?
As it turns out research shows that what our brains do is a lot like exposure therapy. In addition to being paralyzed, we are not able to release adrenaline. So intense emotionally charged dreams and our usual mechanism for coping is shut off.
In trauma-release therapy, the idea is recounting the event but separating it from the feeling of agitation. Being able to be close to it, and exist being comfortable without doing anything about it. So we get to have fear, and terror in the second half of our night. For some people when they wake up during this phase IMMEDIATELY the a adrenaline system kicks on and suddenly everything about the world is in a panic. Out of breath. Omg that was scary!
That was your brain trying to uncouple the emotionality of the previous days events and things that have happened to you. When people are deprived of this second half of sleep their emotionality and mood tend to be a lot more volatile. It’s like continuing to carry all that weight without filing it away.
Maybe it isn’t a terrifying dream, maybe you remember your ex, and it is super sweet cuddling memories that you wake from. It isn’t fun to hear, but we never forget anything traumatic we have been through. That may be upsetting to hear, but remember our brain is trying to protect us, it doesn’t want to see us hurt more so of course we cling tightly to the negative experience.
The interesting thing, is we can reframe the emotional experience. At least be able to unload the weight you carry with that emotional experience. I think this is a component of emotional healing that I deprived myself immensely from. This is occurs to me while my friend describes their therapy homework.
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In short, REM sleep plays a crucial role in helping our brains process emotions. During this stage, we consolidate memories and experiences, and even revisit past emotional events in a safe environment. This emotional processing allows us to detach from the raw feelings associated with these events and integrate them into our overall understanding of ourselves and the world.
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What is your relationship with sleep?
It has been easily 2 years and a few months back I remember that my therapist posed this question to me.... I want to write to me..
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Hey buddy...
I know you don’t want to sleep. I know it seems scary. Like somehow something bad is going to happen and it doesn’t feel safe. I know that you are terrified one of the few people you feel love you may need you while you are resting, and then for you being “selfish” and sleeping that they won’t be there for you when you need them.
It is okay.
You need sleep for the scary parts of your brain to calm down. It is like you are trying to deal with the same emotional weight every single day. Of course it is heavy man. You aren’t putting it down. Every time your body is forcing you to let go and pass out...it loses grip for one moment and you won’t let it keep doing it’s thing.
Just relax.
I know it feels scary when you wake up, but lay back down. Call someone and explain you are scared. Be vulnerable. People will care about your needs, you just have to be brave enough to speak up for them. You deserve rest, I know you are fighting with how terrible it feels to have lost someone you love. You don’t think you will ever make it through tomorrow without them talking to you.
You are stronger than you think.
There is so much in you that you don’t see yet. When you start to see how important your sleep is, you’ll start to uncover all these layers of yourself. There is all this potential in you to do amazing and beautiful things. Don’t give up, keep trying.
I love you man. ‘
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I journal a lot and talk a lot and try to be very self aware, so when I feel a shift it feels fairly easy to notice and I must say I have found that I am at least a confident 100% better with adequate sleep compared to my usual self. When I am sleep deprived my thinking ability, stress tolerance, motivation and energy are all at half capacity and depleting quicker than usual. For these reasons, I feel sleep is vital. Reflecting on the importance of REM sleep for emotional processing makes me even more determined to prioritize getting a good night's sleep lately. Understanding that sleep deprivation can lead to increased emotional volatility resonates with me, as I've noticed feeling more on edge and stressed when I don't get enough rest. By focusing on better sleep hygiene, I hope to not only improve my overall well-being but also allow my brain to process emotions more effectively.
I reflect on this as my sleep quality and quantity has lapsed, and I need to be more diligent. This post reminded me of so many valuable things that I learned over my time studying this subject. I encourage you to consider you own sleep and try and do the standard amount of 6-8 hours. If nothing else take a moment and consider just describing to someone, even here in a comment what your sleep habits are. Articulating your ideas, requires you to think enough to make them clear to someone else and I have found often that this makes them more clear to myself as well.
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