When we speak to someone about something we see in them, something about their potential. We are encouraging something forth. We are calling to attention something that caused us to notice them, good or bad. I once had someone notice in me that I was good with my vocabulary. I enjoyed this being seen, and I believe I rationalized something approximating, if you thought that was cool...wait til I learn even more words!! I expanded my vocabulary and strived to gobble up as many new words as I could encounter. I prided myself on being the person my friends always asked what a particular word meant. It led to me feeling useful, not powerful and overseeing anyone, but instead as a peer that could share new information and in a way that would be avoiding making people feel shame for not knowing already. This still continues to this day and I still get to enjoy helping people understand words and it doing so in a way that they do not have to worry about protecting their ego while they are learning.
From there though, I was off using all my new words. Writing poems mostly, but also doing well with essays at school and in conversation with people. I had people that noticed my poetry, and said, hey... I think you really did good with this one. I felt such elated glee that I could impress someone with how I chose to string the words together. I was complimented that I created a metaphorical image that explained a concept in a unique way. The poem was called "heart stitches" and it was a teenage heartbreak that was hopeful towards love renewed after a painful hurt. It was hopeful that the stitches while they did reveal a past pain, that they could somehow hold the contents properly. Now I saw words differently and somehow even bigger than what they had been before. I could rhyme a series of them and make a heavy impact with the message I was relaying. I wrote ravenously and continued to try and express emotions I didn't know how to but kept grasping at like smoke through my fingertips. I had yet another tool in my box of expressing myself.
Later I was in a relationship and had someone tell me that they found my voice to be pleasing and calming. I at first assumed this was from their affections from me, but I also received this feedback from friends. Eventually I started to give way to giving it some credence and did the same as usual and practiced singing and even tried my hand at recording my voice doing a podcast. I have picked up the podcast again recently, but back then I was so unsure of so much and was given such a gift of someone seeing something in me even if it was not as polished then. This was also extended again by the same person in recognizing my emotional capacity even though I was a child with my emotional vocabulary. I grew this new vocabulary as rapidly as I could as now I was dawning an understanding of myself as well and soon was encouraged to attend therapy by this person to gain a better handle on my emotional experience. This began my ongoing journey with therapy, where I continue to learn how to express myself with this newfound emotional vocabulary
These stories I share with you because I want you to see the profound impact that simply seeing someone can do. Just noticing something someone is kinda good at.
"Give someone a good name – and see what happens!" - Dale Carnegie
This is an interesting thing to consider, that we can notice things in our peers and manifest them forth simply by taking the time to pay attention. I don't know that there is any part of me that I have grown on purpose that was not first appreciated by someone I know.
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