Silence can be powerful. Today, in a meeting unlike any other, silence wasn't awkward – it was the sound of progress.
I had the pleasure of having my therapist accompany me to my job today. She has been an amazing person to know for all of the patient insight and support she has offered me for over a year now. I was very anxious about explaining my struggles about my mental illness with my job and concerned about not having it feel valid. I had this meeting today to address that and provide some value to the claim that my emotional distress is something that I sincerely cannot just power through and offer competent care.
The meeting went exceptionally well and I was rewarded with establishing better communication protocols I could use and still feel respected about the severity when speaking up. It took less time than I anticipated and I was left trying to fill the silence in the room but could only muster "I am not sure what else I can ask for help about right now."
This silence was a powerful moment in itself. It signified that I had been heard...It was heavy but important in my experience. It made me feel completely heard that someone wanted...was willing to make the time so that I could get it all out at my pace. And instead of asking questions and pushing...Just patient waiting.
I feel satisfied and able to take on my day. Things feel more clear and I feel less scared. If you ever have the opportunity to ask to be heard by your employer and you are brave enough to sit through trying to speak in a scenario like this... I can assure you that the anxiety is worth the reward.
Now I head out the door to work, to care for the elderly that I do care so dearly care for. I had two people make time today just to be sure I had everything I needed to do my job well and it feels so very very very empowering. I'm riding a high off of this that I am sure will fade at some point. But right now? I enjoy it. I revel in this feeling of being understood and heard and current at the moment.
Thank you for reading my entry today, until next time!
Breathe deeply, sleepy sweetly, and dream big!!!
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