Saying goodbye to someone who isn't treating you with kindness should be simple, but for me, it hasn't been that way. I've tolerated poor treatment because I feared hurting them if I wasn't there. I explored this before, reflecting on how I reacted after someone dear to me attempted suicide. The pressure of potential mortality felt constant. I took on a role similar to a mother, offering unconditional love and support.
Jordan Peterson describes motherhood and fatherhood as playing distinct but complementary roles in a child's development. A mother's nurturing creates a safe space, while a father's role encourages venturing out and facing challenges.
This concept resonates with me. In my own experience, I've struggled with the idea of letting go. I've felt a responsibility to provide unwavering support, similar to a mother's nurturing role. However, this approach can be counterproductive. By not allowing someone to face the consequences of their actions or take responsibility for their own growth, I'm hindering their development, not helping it.
I felt I needed to be there for people without fail. Through listening to Jordan Peterson's lectures and reflecting on my own life, I've come to understand the importance of letting go. The ultimate sacrifice of a mother can be seen as offering up the child to the world, saying, "I know you'll get hurt, but you must go. The dangers are greater if you stay, because I would only hinder your growth."
It is difficult for me to do this in my situation. To say goodbye to someone and bid them off into the world because my nurturing nature isn't serving their growth at all when they are attacking and using me for meaningless comfort. However, on this journey of self-discovery, I've learned that valuing others must include valuing myself. I can't prioritize everyone else's needs and desires if I neglect my own.
This realization has empowered me to finally say goodbye to Ms. AOH and block her from contacting me. It still hurts, but I know I'm making the right choice for both of us. By letting go, I'm allowing her to find a new path and I'm prioritizing my own well-being.
Until next time dear reader,
Breath deeply...I mean it. do it right now
Sleep sweetly... Savor it..
And dream bigger every night and push your horizons further than you can hope to see the end of!
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